Support is one of the most important ways to show love in a marriage. It shows that you care about your spouse's well-being and that you're there for them, no matter what. It's not an unrealistic expectation of building a skyscraper for your spouse to show your support. It's being down to earth and relatable to the supposed little things that matters to a person and helping them from there. Perhaps your partner needs validation, empathy, or acceptance. Here are some specific ways that support can show love in marriage:
Being a shoulder to cry on. Life has a lot of hurdles and one of the reasons why we really marry is for companionship. Someone to be there for you when no one is. When your spouse is going through a tough time, being there for them and listening to them without judgement is one of the most loving things you can do. Most times, they don't want you to reason out the situation, they want the emotions out of the way and they want you to be available to help let the emotions out. Let them know it's going to be alright and that emotions are part of life and make us humans. I like to hold my husband sometimes and tell him, "God will take care of us." To reassure him I'm here for him and he doesn't have to go through anything alone. He does even more of that for me. I want to run home and tell him everything because I know there's this one person available for me. John 15:13, No one has greater love than the one who gives their life for their friends.
Helping out with chores. Marriage is a partnership. It's an 'us' world. Even though responsibilities seem to have a gender attached to it, you have to remember that it takes two to tango. Taking on some of the household chores can show your spouse that you appreciate them and that you're willing to help out. Taking some time off to prepare their favourite meal, laying what they'll wear to work the next day out and ironed, giving them a massage, or running errands for them, etc, is not only taking the burden off their head but also shows how thoughtful you are. This can be especially helpful if your spouse is feeling stressed or overwhelmed. Avoid adding more mental load by shirking your role or not taking good care of yourself. Studies have shown that intimacy is heightened when spouses feel helped and appreciated. Rom 15:2, Each of us should please our neighbors. Let us do what is good for them in order to build them up. Exo 17:12, When Moses' arms got tired, Aaron and Hur got a stone and put it under him.
Being their biggest fan. Cheering your spouse on at their sporting events, recitals, or work presentations is a great way to show your support. Be interested in what makes them happy or their occupations. Competition in marriage is one of the imbalances of life. Anything they do and achieve is for both persons. Being jealous because your spouse seems to be soaring higher than you is just a perverted mind to have. Congratulate them on their wins. Be there for the little victories and celebrate it as if it's yours because it is. Let them know that you believe in them and that you're proud of them. Heb 10:24, Let us consider how we can stir up one another to love. Let us help one another to do good works.
Making time for each other. Even if you're both busy, it's important to make time for each other. No one is too busy for the person they love. Making time for a person can be as little as a text message or a call or a note. Go on dates, take walks together, or just cuddle on the couch and watch a movie. Spending quality time together is a great way to connect and show your love and support.
In addition to these specific examples, there are many other ways to show support in a marriage. I take time to research what little things I can do to show support to my husband. I'm curious to know what more I can do to make my spouse know I love them. The most important thing is to be there for your spouse and to let them know that you love and care about them. Here are some additional ways that support can show love in marriage:
Being a good and active listener. When your spouse is talking to you, really listen to what they have to say. I've learnt that most times, people want someone who would just listen to them. He or she doesn't have to offer any laid down approach to solving their needs but just to listen to them. Don't interrupt, don't offer advice unless asked, and just be there for them. This shouldn't be hard to do, right? But it is and one must teach themselves to be a good listener. Remember, body languages speak louder than words said. Don't be irritated and feel like they're wasting your time if you're not ready to listen.
Being understanding. Not everyone experiences life in the same way. We grew up from different backgrounds. What irks you may not irk them and vice versa. Our biological structures even point to a difference in how a male or female may behave. Try to understand how your spouse is feeling and why they might be feeling that way. Learn to make excuses for people even before explaining themselves. Give people the benefit of the doubt. Believe you don't know it all and everything is not as it seems to be unless proven beyond reasonable doubt.
Being patient. Things don't always go according to plan. Be patient with your spouse and with yourself. It shows how supportive you are of their journeys. When I met my husband in university, I didn't know and had no idea of how things would turn out ten years later. There have been mountains and valleys. He has been patient with me to become a better person over the years. The mere fact that he's stayed through all these years and waited with belief that I'll be a better person is the most supportive way to show his love. 1 Thess 5:11, So encourage one another with the hope you have. Build each other up. In fact, that's what you are doing.
Being forgiving. Everyone makes mistakes. If your spouse does something to hurt you, be willing to forgive them. Every person would need forgiveness at a point in their lives. Don't hold grudges or count scores. It's a hard virtue to have but a worthy virtue that pays off big time. Gal 6:2, Carry one another's heavy loads. If you do, you will fulfill the law of Christ.
Give space. Learn how to give room for your partner to pursue ambitions they have. Recommend them for opportunities and encourage them to pursue their dreams.
Show your partner physical affection. Physical affection can create a lasting bond between couples. Sexual intimacy is important in romantic relationships, but so is hugging, holding hands, and cuddling. Physical affection offers reassurance and comfort. Studies have shown that they help with lowering stress levels.
Support is an essential part of a healthy marriage. By showing your spouse that you care and that you're there for them, you can strengthen your bond, build self esteem and build a lasting relationship. You can begin with by asking them what support looks like to them.