Song of Solomon 2:2-3
Like a lily among thistles is my darling among young women. Like the finest apple tree in the orchard is my lover among other young men. I sit in his delightful shade and taste his delicious fruit.
To walk in love with a partner is to have one eye for him or her. It is to center, focus, concentrate, train, and fasten on the one you have chosen to love. A relationship that is on to marriage is a long journey that metamorphoses due to internal and external factors. Some of these factors are indispensable, some, dispensable. Some will affect it negatively, some will affect it positively. In it all, your beloved must be the lily amongst the thorns, the apple tree amongst the woods. The only one you see and admire. The only one who makes your insides tickle and makes you daydream. It doesn't always stay like that and a day will come that would make you not see them as the lily or the apple tree.
What do I have to do to keep my one-eyed love?
Be intentional about your focus. Our bodies aren't permanent, perceptions change as we grow, so must our love for each other grow. When I am around other people, I must make a conscious effort to keep my eyes on my beloved spouse. This means not lingering on other people's bodies or faces, and not letting my gaze wander.
SoS 2:4, He brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over me was love.
The banner of our love for each other must be intoxicating that even at a banquet, that's the only thing we see. I must grow my love for my beloved to a place where I admire how age has made him or her finer than wine.
Pray for your spouse. Ask God to help you see your spouse with new eyes, and to fill your heart with love for them. I've learned over the years that a relationship that relies on God and loves each other the way God teaches us to love is the strongest and it stands the test of time. The Bible says a threefold cord is not easily broken therefore a couple must adopt God as the third cord and their relationship will not be easily broken.
Eccl 4:11-12, Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone? And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
Relationships and marriages have a lot of battles. The challenges you face daily can create distance or bring you closer. We must learn to involve God and pray that we love our beloved with fresh love each morning.
Lam 3:22-23
It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.
Do things that make you feel close to your spouse. This could mean spending time together, talking, laughing, or simply holding hands. In a crowd, you can learn to find each other from time to time to smile, touch, hug, and have that bond unbroken.
SoS 2:6, His left hand is under my head, and his right hand doth embrace me.
Compliment your spouse. Let them know how much you appreciate them, both physically and emotionally. Send them an unexpected sweet complimentary text in the middle of the day. Write love notes and letters and put them in their bags. When they have dressed up, be the first to compliment them. Look out for fresh hairdos, new dresses, and suits, and new perfumes. Put that glow and confidence on them with a touching compliment.
SoS 2:14, O my dove, in the clefts of the rock, in the crannies of the cliff, let me see your face, let me hear your voice, for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely.
Make your spouse feel special. Do something thoughtful for them, like cooking them dinner, giving them a massage, or writing them a love letter. Open the door for her, meet him at the door to welcome him with a kiss or hug, hold their hands.
Forgive your spouse. If you've ever had a problem with your spouse, make sure you've forgiven them. Holding on to resentment will only make it harder to have your eyes only on them. Remember, you're equally human and would need forgiveness at a point.
1 Cor 13:5 …It does not keep track of other people's wrongs.
It's important to remember that having your eyes only on your spouse is a choice. It's something you have to work at, but it's worth it. When you focus on your spouse, you're strengthening your relationship and building a foundation for a happy and fulfilling marriage.
Here are some additional tips that you may find helpful:
Talk to your spouse about your commitment to having eyes only on them. Let them know that you're making a conscious effort to focus on them, and that you want their help in doing the same.
Set boundaries with other people. This could mean avoiding situations where you're likely to be tempted to look at other people, or setting clear limits on your interactions with other people. Boldly confess your love for your spouse to friends and acquaintances. SoS 2:16, My beloved is mine, and I am his: he feedeth among the lilies.
Be aware of your triggers. What are the things that make you more likely to have a wandering eye? Once you know your triggers, you can start to develop strategies for avoiding them.
Be patient with yourself and your partner. It takes time to change your habits. Don't get discouraged if you slip up sometimes. Just keep trying, and eventually you'll get there. They're human and would also fail. Make excuses for them.
May your love be sweet as honey and fine as wine as you work on having a focused love. May your love be strong as death, that many waters cannot quench it.
Song of Songs 8:6-7
Hold me close to your heart where your royal seal is worn. Keep me as close to yourself as the bracelet on your arm. My love for you is so strong it won't let you go. Love is as powerful as death. Love's jealousy is as strong as the grave. Love is like a blazing fire. Love burns like a mighty flame. No amount of water can put it out. Rivers can't sweep it away. Suppose someone offers all their wealth to buy love. That won't even come close to being enough."